Kristin Stuart Valdes

Empathy isn’t just a quality – it’s a skill that can be learned. Here’s an activity to help students practice their empathy skills.

We all have self-talk. Fortunately, we, and our students, can learn to shape what that self-talk is.

An “I Need Message” is a short and sweet way for students to be assertive and get their needs met, even with people they don’t know well. 
 

Taking a deep breath isn’t just for difficult moments. This simple soothing strategy can help us and our students any time we need it.

Begin by asking students, "What do you need to feel safe, comfortable, and excited to learn?"

Instead of jumping ahead to brainstorming solutions, first explore why a problem is occurring.

Encouraging students to use put-ups can improve the climate in your classroom. But many put-ups are about surface qualities. (I like your shoes!) Help students craft deeper put-ups with these simple steps.
 

Once your students have identified their personal anger triggers, have them share those triggers with each other. This can foster empathy, increase students' awareness of themselves and others, and reduce conflicts.

Sometimes students become aware only later, after reflection, that they could have handled a situation in a better way. Lay the groundwork for students to request a "do-over" so they can address a mistake or misunderstanding after the fact.

Students are often stumped when it comes to finding a resolution to a conflict beyond saying “I’m sorry.” To get over this hump, encourage students to take two additional steps: Ask creative questions to understand the other person’s needs, and make a written commitment to change. 

"I Messages" are a great SEL tool for conveying our emotional needs. But sometimes they can be used to make accusations. We can prevent that from happening with this simple tweak in the I Message format. 

Young people can be active allies to someone who is being targeted without directly engaging with the aggressor. Help students learn a safer, non-confrontational way to be an ally: the "Join Us Intervention."

Deep learning often begins when students start applying the social and emotional skills you’re teaching to real-life problems.Try setting up a space in your classroom where students can cool down, resolve conflicts, and put their new skills to use.

Instead of stepping in to resolve a student's problem, try simply paraphrasing the student's point of view. Sometimes this is all it takes to calm a student down so that they can solve the problem on their own.